“The high value put upon every minute of time, the idea of hurry-hurry as the most important objective of living, is unquestionably the most dangerous enemy of joy….
Seek out each day as many as possible of the small joys.”
- Hermann Hesse, My Belief: Essays on Life and Art
Seek out each day as many as possible of the small joys.”
- Hermann Hesse, My Belief: Essays on Life and Art
I don’t go anywhere without my calendar. If an event isn’t written down there, it’s entirely possible I’ll double-book myself, because my calendar is packed. This probably started somewhere in high school when I got involved in drama and music lessons after school. I remember some long joy-filled weekends with nothing to do in college, but once I hit adulthood and motherhood – there was always something to do, somewhere to be.
Working parents are acutely aware of what that kind of scheduling is like, and if you’ve never experienced it, times your own busy schedule by 2 or 3 children and think about it for a few minutes. That’s when my calendar simply exploded. It’s stressful just sitting here remembering.
I decided when I left full-time teaching that I would never go back to that kind of rushing again. For the first year of living in Atlanta, I un-wound. I stared out the window. I had no social activities, I had no job, I had nowhere particular to go other than to the grocery store. It was an odd time, and it took me a couple of months to grieve leaving my old life and to learn to enjoy being alone during the day. I had to let go of the need to DO and decide to just BE to appreciate the gift of time and space. I started by seeking out the “small joys” in living. I began with gardening and house projects, because I love doing these things. I sewed a lot. It became a lovely and joyous time of reconnecting with myself and getting to know my new husband.
Gradually, my schedule began to fill. I started teaching Alexander Technique, and then added Piano lessons. I found many fun ways to spend my time while in Decatur for work. Gigs for piano playing and dance leading or getting together with friends occupy our weekends. And for a “semi-retired” person, I’m busier than I want to be. In fact, recently I’ve been whining about it, just a little, and trying to figure out where to cut back in order to spend more time at home with my newly retired husband.
Working parents are acutely aware of what that kind of scheduling is like, and if you’ve never experienced it, times your own busy schedule by 2 or 3 children and think about it for a few minutes. That’s when my calendar simply exploded. It’s stressful just sitting here remembering.
I decided when I left full-time teaching that I would never go back to that kind of rushing again. For the first year of living in Atlanta, I un-wound. I stared out the window. I had no social activities, I had no job, I had nowhere particular to go other than to the grocery store. It was an odd time, and it took me a couple of months to grieve leaving my old life and to learn to enjoy being alone during the day. I had to let go of the need to DO and decide to just BE to appreciate the gift of time and space. I started by seeking out the “small joys” in living. I began with gardening and house projects, because I love doing these things. I sewed a lot. It became a lovely and joyous time of reconnecting with myself and getting to know my new husband.
Gradually, my schedule began to fill. I started teaching Alexander Technique, and then added Piano lessons. I found many fun ways to spend my time while in Decatur for work. Gigs for piano playing and dance leading or getting together with friends occupy our weekends. And for a “semi-retired” person, I’m busier than I want to be. In fact, recently I’ve been whining about it, just a little, and trying to figure out where to cut back in order to spend more time at home with my newly retired husband.
My recent calendar with names blacked out. Two open days in the entire month! Oddly enough, this forced break from my work, from the gigs, from the gym, from all the things that keep me out of the house is like Deja-Vu all over again. That description in the third paragraph could be me talking about last week. This time, though, it won’t take me months to unwind. I’m not starting a new life, I’m doing less in this one. I’m doing my own self-work to stay grounded and away from anxiety. I limit my news intake, and I look for the joy in small things, like sprouting seeds on my windowsill.
I have dear friends who have told me this week that they are simply filled with anxiety and dread for what’s to come. Lest you think I’m an ostrich, I not only understand that, I feel it, too. Fear and anxiety are appropriate reactions to a virus that might kill us. We do, however, have a choice about how we respond to that fear and anxiety. My choice is not to dwell in fear, but to live in gratitude for a life I love.
How can we unwind from busy-ness? How can we let go of fear and physical tension? How can we choose joy? Today’s exercise is a great place to start. You can do it as often as you need to.
How can we unwind from busy-ness? How can we let go of fear and physical tension? How can we choose joy? Today’s exercise is a great place to start. You can do it as often as you need to.
Exercise to Try:
The CyCle:
An etude from Primal Alexander (the work of AT teacher, Mio Morales) that is like a meditation, using a question in a repetitive cycle.
To prepare, find a place to sit quietly with your hands in your lap.
Ask yourself:
1. What sensations am I feeling at this moment?
2. Where do I feel a bit of tension/pain/tightness?
3. At this moment, where do I seem a bit easy?
The CyCle:
Take one of your thumbs and hold it gently with your other hand.
Ask yourself this question:
Ask it 4 times for each finger on one hand.
Keep track of the repetitions by holding each of your fingers – 20 questions, total.
Switch hands and begin with holding your other thumb.
Now 20 more times, each time letting the question become quieter, using less effort.
The CyCle:
An etude from Primal Alexander (the work of AT teacher, Mio Morales) that is like a meditation, using a question in a repetitive cycle.
To prepare, find a place to sit quietly with your hands in your lap.
Ask yourself:
1. What sensations am I feeling at this moment?
2. Where do I feel a bit of tension/pain/tightness?
3. At this moment, where do I seem a bit easy?
The CyCle:
Take one of your thumbs and hold it gently with your other hand.
Ask yourself this question:
- Where else do I seem a bit easy?
Ask it 4 times for each finger on one hand.
Keep track of the repetitions by holding each of your fingers – 20 questions, total.
Switch hands and begin with holding your other thumb.
Now 20 more times, each time letting the question become quieter, using less effort.
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