Day 11 - Clarity

Beholding

I don’t put my hands on anyone as an Alexander Teacher without stopping to ask for permission first. In today’s world, it’s what you do. I’ve been doing it longer than that, however. There are certain people who, when I meet them in the context of a group Alexander workshop, make me wonder why they are there by their posture, their body language, their inability to look at me. 

I’ve learned over the years that while I might assume the answer would be “no, please don’t touch me,” that that is not always the case. Asking is very important. 

When I put my hands on someone, I am asking for a connection. It’s a deep connection, because my hands are asking that person to let me tap into their nervous system, to let me sense how they move into releasing tension, to meld my hands so that the touch is barely noticeable as to where I end and they begin. It’s vitally important that there be at least a sense of trust that I will do no harm. 
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My professional organization has, in plain English, an Ethical Code so that lines are not crossed in this kind of connection.  There’s more to it, but here’s the Alexander Technique International (ATI) statement and the pertinent sections to what I’m talking about:

This Code of Ethics sets forth ethical principles for Alexander Technique Teachers. The public has the right to expect that all ATI Teaching Members are properly evaluated and qualified to teach the F.M. Alexander Technique. ATI Members act in a constructive, non-sectarian, non- discriminatory manner with colleagues, associates, students, and the public. Alexander Technique Teachers respect the fundamental rights and dignity of all people.

1. THE TEACHER–STUDENT RELATIONSHIP
1.1  It is the responsibility of the Alexander Technique Teacher to maintain a professional attitude throughout the period of time during which the Alexander Technique Teacher/student are working together.

1.2  An Alexander Technique Teacher does not use their authority for personal gain, whether that gain be cultural, emotional, political or religious in nature. An Alexander Technique Teacher does not enter into a sexual relationship with a student.

​If I suspect that a person may have been abused in some way, I know that I have to be extra careful not to even approach that line in the sand. My goal is for everyone who enters my studio to feel safe, cared for, met where they are - seen.

When a person says “yes” to my putting my hands on, and I sense immediately that there is trauma involved, I draw in a deep breath, ground myself, and as much as possible, remove myself and my preconceptions about anything before I lift my hands. 

As I touch someone, my hands ask a gentle question – what is the way in? Time after time, the answer with someone like this in the immediate moment is “There is no way in.” Patience is required. Just hanging out. Just us. You don’t feel anything? No worries. 

I’m hoping for the slightest bit of letting go of tension in the neck or shoulders. I’m hoping I get to see them breathe. I’m sending them ground, and support, and freedom that comes from my body into theirs. 

If I succeed, they might cry. They might soften for a second and then tense right back up. A succession of “maybes” and things to try runs through my head, because I want to help them. I remind myself to stay present, to pause, to observe. It’s not my job to fix them.

The difference between my teaching now and 20 years ago, when I qualified, is profound. I now understand there is no rush, nothing to solve. Even when I feel pushed away, refused, disconnected – that’s ok. 
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Sometimes just being with a person is enough.