During the long drive in the van I found myself coming to some kind of reckoning. How hypocritical was it of me to have spent so much time and energy on the items that had belonged to previous generations, without also considering my own contributions to the clutter in my home?
On the other, I am determined to challenge my upbringing and not leave all of that for someone else to have to go through.
Since early August, I have gone through the storage spaces with a vengeance. I’ve cleaned closets, kitchen cabinets and a large shelf section in the mudroom. I’ve reorganized my sewing area. I’ve painted and redecorated as a reward. Boxes and bags of items have been donated to our local charity resale shop. Other things have been gifted to friends and family. I gave the bulk of my old folk-song book collection to the teacher who took my place this summer. (That also went in the van.)
The final frontier is my office. It may look neat on first glance – a little cluttered, perhaps, but don’t look in the corners behind the furniture. Filing cabinets are stuffed full of old professional papers from my music teaching career. Things I kept “in case I ever go back into the classroom;” songs and teaching ideas that seemed great 18 years ago but are significantly outdated today. Old workshop handouts. Old notes about the University program when we did things on paper.
I was talking to Dave about this the other day – this is my career, here. Is any of it important in the larger scheme of music education in the US? My song collection – 5 volumes, some of it handwritten, some of it re-analyzed to my own standards (which are now used in many Kodály programs in the US), well, that, probably. I can donate that to an archive somewhere when I’m ready. The George Mason University Kodály program incorporation papers I’ve already sent in electronic form to my successor – would she want the folder I created at the time? I need to ask. Workshop handouts I created? I only have a few that are not stored in my computer files at this point.
Workshop handouts from others, songs I picked up here and there – old national conference booklets – my inclination is to toss the entire file cabinet. On the other hand, are all those booklets in my professional organization archive? Is there anything missing that I might contribute? We’ve been running 50 years of conferences; I’ve probably attended 40 of them over the years.
So many tasks to add to my list - I look around and this stymies me, way more than anything in the basement. After all, who am I to judge my own importance, if indeed I have any? I’ve always been a background player, a worker – 7 times on the national board, never in an executive office (thankfully.) I’ve never published a book, although I’ve written for the journal. I’ve taught all over the country and worked side-by-side with several of the heroes and US founders of our methodology. I can tell you some stories. Sometimes I feel a bit like the Forrest Gump of Kodály teaching. Does any of that matter to anyone but me?
The difficulty of dealing with all of this makes me understand my grandmother a bit more. As the world has moved from physical items to those stored in the cloud, is it any less easy to part with ideas? Photos? Creations?
I see this as “my retirement job.” Which is a cute way of saying I’m putting it off. Since tomorrow is never promised, I need to rethink that idea.
- Who was going to clean my stuff out for me someday?
- Who would decide if anything was important or not?
- Is there anything of my own important enough to be kept and passed on?
On the other, I am determined to challenge my upbringing and not leave all of that for someone else to have to go through.
Since early August, I have gone through the storage spaces with a vengeance. I’ve cleaned closets, kitchen cabinets and a large shelf section in the mudroom. I’ve reorganized my sewing area. I’ve painted and redecorated as a reward. Boxes and bags of items have been donated to our local charity resale shop. Other things have been gifted to friends and family. I gave the bulk of my old folk-song book collection to the teacher who took my place this summer. (That also went in the van.)
The final frontier is my office. It may look neat on first glance – a little cluttered, perhaps, but don’t look in the corners behind the furniture. Filing cabinets are stuffed full of old professional papers from my music teaching career. Things I kept “in case I ever go back into the classroom;” songs and teaching ideas that seemed great 18 years ago but are significantly outdated today. Old workshop handouts. Old notes about the University program when we did things on paper.
I was talking to Dave about this the other day – this is my career, here. Is any of it important in the larger scheme of music education in the US? My song collection – 5 volumes, some of it handwritten, some of it re-analyzed to my own standards (which are now used in many Kodály programs in the US), well, that, probably. I can donate that to an archive somewhere when I’m ready. The George Mason University Kodály program incorporation papers I’ve already sent in electronic form to my successor – would she want the folder I created at the time? I need to ask. Workshop handouts I created? I only have a few that are not stored in my computer files at this point.
Workshop handouts from others, songs I picked up here and there – old national conference booklets – my inclination is to toss the entire file cabinet. On the other hand, are all those booklets in my professional organization archive? Is there anything missing that I might contribute? We’ve been running 50 years of conferences; I’ve probably attended 40 of them over the years.
So many tasks to add to my list - I look around and this stymies me, way more than anything in the basement. After all, who am I to judge my own importance, if indeed I have any? I’ve always been a background player, a worker – 7 times on the national board, never in an executive office (thankfully.) I’ve never published a book, although I’ve written for the journal. I’ve taught all over the country and worked side-by-side with several of the heroes and US founders of our methodology. I can tell you some stories. Sometimes I feel a bit like the Forrest Gump of Kodály teaching. Does any of that matter to anyone but me?
The difficulty of dealing with all of this makes me understand my grandmother a bit more. As the world has moved from physical items to those stored in the cloud, is it any less easy to part with ideas? Photos? Creations?
I see this as “my retirement job.” Which is a cute way of saying I’m putting it off. Since tomorrow is never promised, I need to rethink that idea.
My retirement "roast" from the faculty at the George Mason University Kodály program.
RSS Feed