Act 3 - Trusting the Search
As a teenager, this comic used to hang on the bulletin board in my bedroom. Even then I knew there was more to life than high school and its drama.
There IS a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker, but in today’s world, we’re all with Charlie Brown. Sound bites. Quick bits. Catch phrases. Stuff that fits on a meme (or on a bumper sticker.) That’s what’s in the world, online, everywhere we look. Billboards. Windows. Ever present TV advertising.
It’s a bumper sticker world, and a black and white one, at that.
So how does a thinking person, a person who prefers the earth and sky and colorful tactile experiences, process their thoughts with any sense of clarity? Or act on a philosophy?
I’ve been processing this one since the start of the challenge. What exactly is it that drives my searching? What am I looking for, diving deeply for, craving? I seem to see a road ahead of me and I seem to be following it reasonably well without getting lost in the woods, but exactly where am I going other than deeper into my life? Deeper into who I am, authentically? And what is urging me on to keep going? I could just spend the rest of my days sitting at home, or shopping, or driving, or doing all those things that most semi-retired people do – and yet, as I do those, I also pause a lot. I look at flowers. What am I passing and not seeing? Hearing? Feeling? How can I add that in to my current experience?
With more time to pursue them, these are the things that intrigue me most lately. I am looking for meaning in the everydayness presence of my life. Nature attracts me, distracts me. I could follow a butterfly all day.
Case in point - look who was on my Ironweed for more than 36 hours last August. And guess who checked in on her often enough to know that?
There IS a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker, but in today’s world, we’re all with Charlie Brown. Sound bites. Quick bits. Catch phrases. Stuff that fits on a meme (or on a bumper sticker.) That’s what’s in the world, online, everywhere we look. Billboards. Windows. Ever present TV advertising.
It’s a bumper sticker world, and a black and white one, at that.
So how does a thinking person, a person who prefers the earth and sky and colorful tactile experiences, process their thoughts with any sense of clarity? Or act on a philosophy?
I’ve been processing this one since the start of the challenge. What exactly is it that drives my searching? What am I looking for, diving deeply for, craving? I seem to see a road ahead of me and I seem to be following it reasonably well without getting lost in the woods, but exactly where am I going other than deeper into my life? Deeper into who I am, authentically? And what is urging me on to keep going? I could just spend the rest of my days sitting at home, or shopping, or driving, or doing all those things that most semi-retired people do – and yet, as I do those, I also pause a lot. I look at flowers. What am I passing and not seeing? Hearing? Feeling? How can I add that in to my current experience?
With more time to pursue them, these are the things that intrigue me most lately. I am looking for meaning in the everydayness presence of my life. Nature attracts me, distracts me. I could follow a butterfly all day.
Case in point - look who was on my Ironweed for more than 36 hours last August. And guess who checked in on her often enough to know that?
After asking those questions of myself for quite a while, last fall I decided to do something concrete. I signed up for an 10-week course in becoming a Certified Master Naturalist in the state of Georgia. Every Tuesday I spent the night at a friend’s house, then got up early Wednesday morning and drove another 40 minutes for a full day of classes for almost two month, gaining over 56 hours of training. Taking this course validated my own trust in what I already knew about mushrooms, birds, native gardening, etc, and opened me up to a lot more, like tree care and water quality testing. Once I get up myself up to the nature center to volunteer, I’ll be able to take school groups out in the preserve in my backyard, or lead hikes. This feels exactly right.
Now, going a step further, I’m about to embark on a class on fabric dyeing with plants and flowers grown at the John C Campbell Folk School. It feels good to unite my love of fabrics and nature - and I need a new creative outlet for Act 3 that isn’t musical.
With this, my toolbox as Earth Mother is expanding yet again.
Did I find the clarity I was searching for in this challenge? Not exactly. I am clearer on what is not acceptable in my world. I am clearer that love is everything. I am clearer that the road I am on feels right, and true. I have set intentions for the rest through my writing.
Perhaps that’s enough, at least for right now.
Now, going a step further, I’m about to embark on a class on fabric dyeing with plants and flowers grown at the John C Campbell Folk School. It feels good to unite my love of fabrics and nature - and I need a new creative outlet for Act 3 that isn’t musical.
With this, my toolbox as Earth Mother is expanding yet again.
Did I find the clarity I was searching for in this challenge? Not exactly. I am clearer on what is not acceptable in my world. I am clearer that love is everything. I am clearer that the road I am on feels right, and true. I have set intentions for the rest through my writing.
Perhaps that’s enough, at least for right now.
RSS Feed